Elf jokes for the whole family.
Breakfast-table approved. Tap a joke to reveal the punchline, or leave one on a sticky note next to your elf tonight.
#01
What do elves learn in school?
The elf-abet!
#02
What kind of car does an elf drive?
A Toy-ota.
#03
Where do elves go to vote?
The North Poll.
#04
What kind of money do elves use?
Jingle bills.
#05
How do elves get to the top floor?
The elf-evator.
#06
What's an elf's favorite sport?
North Pole vaulting.
#07
What do you call an elf who just won the lottery?
Welfy.
#08
What kind of photos do elves take?
Elfies.
#09
What's an elf's favorite game?
Hide and seek. Obviously.
#10
Where does an elf keep its money?
In a snow bank.
#11
How does an elf say goodbye?
See you later, elf-igator!
#12
How do elves stay in shape?
Elf-ercise.
#13
Why did the elf get sent to time-out?
He had a bad elf-titude.
#14
What do elves do after school?
Their gnome-work.
#15
What's an elf's favorite dessert?
Shortcake.
#16
What's an elf's favorite kind of movie?
Short films.
#17
Why did the elf bring a ladder to school?
He wanted to go to high school.
#18
What did the elf say to the ornament?
"Quit hanging around!"
#19
Why did the elf sit next to the freezer?
He was just chilling.
#20
What did the elf say to the snowman?
"Hmm… does something smell like carrots?"
#21
What do you call an elf who sings?
A wrapper.
#22
Why did the elf move to Texas?
He heard everything is bigger — including the cookies.
#23
What does a Texas elf put on his cookies?
Queso, y'all.
#24
What do you call an elf at the beach?
Lost. The North Pole has no beaches.
#25
Why are elves such great listeners?
They're all ears.
#26
What do you call an elf wearing earmuffs?
Anything you want — he can't hear you.
#27
Why did the elf fail his driving test?
He couldn't reach the pedals.
#28
What did one elf say to the other on a snow day?
"Snow way!"
#29
What do elves say on December 26th?
"Ho-ho-hold on, I need a nap."
#30
Why are elves bad at basketball?
They always come up a little short.
#31
What do you call an elf who starts a business?
Elf-employed.
#32
Why do elves always win at board games?
They're elf-confident.
#33
What's an elf's favorite app?
Snow-chat.
#34
What do elves call their parents?
Mom, Dad… and "the giants."
#35
What do you call an elf who rocks out?
Elf-vis Presley.
#36
What's an elf's favorite cereal?
Frosted Flakes. Grrreat for a snowy morning.
#37
Why did the elf bring a pencil to bed?
To draw the curtains.
#38
Why was the elf so good at keeping secrets?
Because he's a little elf — he keeps things small.
#39
How do elves stay warm in Texas in December?
They don't. It's 78 degrees.
#40
What's an elf's favorite plant?
Mistle-toe. They can reach it.
#41
Why did the elf go to the doctor?
He had low elf-esteem.
#42
What does an elf wear to bed?
Jingle-jammies.
#43
Why did the elf join the band?
He already had the jingle down.
#44
What do you call a lazy elf?
Santa's little couch potato.
#45
How do elves send their emails?
Via snow-mail.
#46
Why did the elf put his bed in the fireplace?
He wanted to sleep like a log.
#47
What's an elf's favorite tree?
A tiny pine — perfect size.
#48
What's the first thing an elf does on Dec 1?
Makes a grand entrance. (Ask us how.)
#49
Why did the elf take a nap in the cookie jar?
He was feeling crummy.
#50
What do elves eat for breakfast?
Mini pancakes, obviously.
Skip the midnight scramble.
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